My thoughts on being single after 30...

One of my good childhood friends got engaged yesterday, ironically, the day before her 30th Birthday. WHEW... she just barely made the cut off. (note the sarcasm here)

I am happy for her, but perhaps not as happy as I should be. I am a little jealous, I guess, (but don't tell anyone, okay?!). It is more fair to say I am envious. She is one of the lucky ones. She does not have to enter her 30's wondering... "Will I ever find him, you know him, the ONE?!"

It seems to me as a woman after you turn 30 two things happen... 1) Everything appears to move more quickly and there is pressure to have all the things you think you are supposed to, and 2) You start realizing that you are pretty fucking fabulous and you don't want to settle at all. These two opposing ideologies obviously conflict on a regular basis. It is hard enough to meet men. Now we have to care if they are good enough for us!?

So, what is a girl to do...?

This year I turn 32, which by today's standards is not that old anymore. Thank god. I also regularly get confused for a twenty-something which helps... OK really, THANK YOU GOD. But let's face it... our 30s are not our 20s. I am not quite as thin, definitely not as perky and frankly much more jaded then I was in my 20s. As my birthday fast approaches and my quarry of men rapidly depletes, I find myself wondering... What if there is no Mr. Right for me? No knight in shining armor, no prince, no soul mate, no diamond in the rough, no "the ONE." Does everyone find someone they are willing to commit the rest of their life to? Will everyone fall in love with someone who wants to marry them? What if I never meet this elusive stranger? Then what? What would actually happen to me?!

Will I implode? Will I start to reek of a strange odor? Is my face going to melt off? Will my vagina just fall out one day?! Will I become a cougar? The answer is ... NOTHING. Nothing will happen to me. I will continue to live my life as I do now.

I will wake up, go to work or school, make plans with my friends, run, make myself dinner, do laundry, go on vacations, talk nonsense with the girls, have many glasses of wine, watch vampire movies, cry, eat, sleep, poop, fall in love over and over and continue to daydream about meeting an amazing man who somehow knows exactly how to love me.

So that is what a girl should do. A single, 30-something like me. Let go of what I should be doing and do what I want to do!! Who cares if I meet someone!? My life is not that bad. My life is actually pretty darn good.

I am starting to think all of this bullshit about falling in love, weddings, and babies is just that, BULLSHIT. It’s some fairy tale that we are spoon fed since birth. Its all princesses, barbies and Bride Magazine. It’s all make-believe. The reality is... it is damn hard to find a great person to spend your life with. AND it is even more challenging to make a life-long commitment and actually keep it.

So to my newly engaged girlfriend, I raise my glass of Zinfandel and I say this... True love is an amazing and rare gift. Cherish it, be grateful for it and care for it. AND Always know I will love you whether you are single, engaged, married, pregnant, happy, sad or anything in between. But please remember this very important thing... as your single friend; you are still required to be my wing woman at the bar.